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Cainophilia:-The desire to indulge in self mutilation of genitalia whilst an elderly black woman defecates on one's chest, and John Cleese defibs one's testicles. 23. Senioraphilia:- The urge to have sex with someone who is three grade ahead of you. 22. squeezeaphilia:- The urge to have sex with anything that has a tiny hole. 21. Hoopophilia:- The urge to **** the center on your high school's varsity guys basketball team even though you are a guy yourself. 20. Automotivephilia:- The need to have sex with your car, no matter when, where or how. 19. UnwashedLaundryophilia:- The desire to have sex with dirty unwashed laundry. Any guesses why the laundry needed to be washed in the first place? 18. Crossaphilia:- The desire to tackle the first person to win a high school cross country race and **** them til they cry for their mommy. 17. Hockaphilia:- The urge to **** any given person at any given time that is within the Hockomock area. 16. Trampaphillia:- The uncontrollable urge to have. As my helper "elf" readies the camera, I ask Cindy what she wants for Christmas. She tells me she doesn't want toys, she just doesn't want to be alone for Christmas. Well this is one wish Santa can grant. I whisper in her ear, Santa will try to help. Look for me on Christmas eve. Her face lit up just in time for the picture. She slid off my lap and went on her merry way. My day continued as I thought to myself, "9 more days 'til Christmas."My time as Santa ended for the day. I waved at all the little ones as I made my way back to undress. Sherry, who played my helper elf, packed up the camera, supplies and money, then joined me in the back. I loved how the elf costume looked on her. Almost too tight for her young buxom coed body. As I started taking off my jacket and "Santa" beard, she thanked me for another smooth day. She can't believe how calm I can remain, as some of the customers (as she likes to call them), alternate between hyper, scared, and just plain bratty. I tell her I've.
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