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That wily old bastard! As for the funeral itself, well, talking about them is the same as suffering through them. The quicker it's over with the better. Piped in music that makes you want to rip the speakers from the ceiling. A cadre of funeral home ghouls standing around in plastic hair and funny suits. The minister of Grandma's church not just stumbling over her name, but doing so while he read it off an index card. The eulogy the usual pastiche of irrelevant aphorisms mixed in with incorrect facts. Fortunately the man didn't strain himself with any great length. Lining up for the viewing.The modern pallbearer, I discovered, is mostly an honorary position. You lift the coffin onto a dolly, then sort of shuttle alongside it. Riding to the cemetery in those big black cars that seemed to have been retrofitted with shock absorbers meant for a subcompact.Dad got to ride in the front car with the other primary guests of honor. In our car Mom and Ashley went off about the mouth."They. Please don't be too harsh in judging Thanks! ~Lids I'm sitting on my bed, completely undressed I'm waiting for you to come near My fingers reach down And I pretend it's you And I hear a soft whisper in my ear I stick one in And suddenly I'm taken The pleasure is hard to bear I pretend it's you Licking, Sucking, Fucking And then, I'm suddenly there Thriving, twisting, moaning, screaming If only it were really you That could stick your fingers in between my walls And finally make me feel true Womanhood It feels so good Your fingers running along flesh I pretend your mouth is on me now Tasting my juices, my sex No one could make me feel the same way And it's not even you that's there I lick my lips Look at my fingertips And I see that you seem scared I whisper "it's OK, we should go all the way" And I slip my fingers around my tongue I pretend it's your member, sliding inside Oh, I've wanted this for so long! I can hear your moans clearly in my head Even though I know they're not real.
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