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It was our connection in the darker places inside us. Because we both played our roles as dutiful parents, we were focussed on another kind of link. However, it was not this that made me special for Peter. Peter could have found a loving wife in many women, and he could have raised babies and had a lovely home. I was not essential for that. The thing that made me special, to myself that Peter loved in me, was my darkness. And that was not a thing to be paraded before our children. With exhausted arms and tired legs, we packed up at the end of the day. We thanked our driver and gave him a tip, and took our belongings back to the marina. Jane and Thomas carried the large fish in a basket between them, and Peter and I staggered behind them with all the belongings that we had taken with us. It was fortunate the trip home in the car was a short one, because the children, still and very quiet, almost fell asleep on the way. At home I took the kids into the bath while peter made them boiled. I suppose I should have realised something wasn't as it should be whenevery weekend for as many years as I can remember, I looked forward toand followed my mum through Boots, John Lewis & Debenhams! I supposed Ishould have kicked up a fuss or at least protested at the fact that Ihad to do the same things every weekend! Look around the clothes shopsand the same cosmetic & fragrance counters, listening to the samequestions and chit chat from the girls trying to sell whatever productthey had on special or which ever one they were told to boost sales for!My mum and sister were suckers for this banter and I'm ashamed to admit,I was just like them. I loved the enthusiasm in their demeanour andvoices as they described how this wonderful lotion or fragrance wouldallow anyone who used it to look and feel at least 10 years younger orsmell so attractive even the most gorgeous and unobtainable man wouldinstantly fall from Hollywood and beg their hand in marriage unable tolive without them!.
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