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"Not really a hell of a big break," Scooter sighed. Of their theoretical three-day break, half of one of the days was shot on doing groceries, and they were losing most of another to loading and rigging."Long enough," Crystal grinned. "Shit, I almost think I've forgotten what the river looks like. We take our break in the winter." I suppose," Scooter smiled. "I feel like I've been gone long enough myself." Actually, it could be worse," Crystal said. "Some of the motor rig outfits have goofy schedules, and sometimes someone will have to come in late at night and be loaded out at ten the next morning. They call that a 'burnaround, ' and I'm just glad as hell we don't have to do it very often. Louise told me last year that sometimes they have to do it when they're switching people around between crews, and it involves hiking down to Phantom." A couple hours to do laundry, a couple beers, a bar burger, and maybe a stop at K-Mart are all I really need," Scooter sighed. "Cripe, you. . but the hurt always closes back in when I think about my little girl and my husband. "Baby steps," Doctor Jamison tells me. Big problems don't get solved easily, she says. It takes time and lots of work.There are times Doctor Jamison has to help me deal with a problem in a different way. Like with my father and mother... Doctor Jamison talked them into coming down here from Albany for a week. It took all I had to face my father and tell him how bad he made me feel when I saw him come out of Aunt Ruth's room with his shirt outside his pants and stuff. I told him that when I saw Aunt Ruth in that black camisole, kissing and hugging him... I told him I wanted to hurt him when I saw that. Didn't he know it was wrong? I asked him why--but I really was screaming at him. I made my father cry. I never saw him cry before.I yelled at my mother too. Why did she let him do it? Didn't she ever think how horrible it made me feel, knowing my mother was a cuckquean but not able to do anything about.
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