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CB3000? I didn't know whatthat was and I asked. Well, Jean, it is a device that fits around apenis and prevents one from masturbating. The penis fits snugly into aplastic tube and the tube is connected to rings that go around hisscrotum and locks in place with a small padlock. When on it can't comeoff without unlocking the lock with a key, and the entire penis isenclosed in the plastic tube. When on it somehow doesn't show throughthe trousers as anything special. I asked him to go put it on so that Ican see for myself as I had trouble visualizing what he was telling me. She ran upstairs and shortly came back, standing next to my chair as wewere still in the kitchen. She shyly lifted her skirt, pulled down herpanties, and there it was. I couldn't help myself, Jean. I reachedover and touched it. Sure enough, even when I tugged on it pretty hard,it stayed in place. The penis is visible as the device is clearplastic. I asked Amy where the key was, and she reached in her. Chapter 1 Never write a novel. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Let me try again. Never write a fucking novel, you idiot. I was happy with my life until I did. And then as soon as it published, everything turned to shit flavored frozen rain. And this is the most important thing… Whatever you do, never write a goddamn successful novel, you fucking idiot! ***** As you might have expected, I speak from personal experience. And now, in the time honored tradition of shitty novelists everywhere, I am going to take you all the way back to the beginning, whether you want it or not. I grew up the last of a family of six kids in a frightening little neighborhood of South Philly. I mean, this was the kind of neighborhood that you don’t want your kid walking through, not to mention growing up. But for some reason, which I still don’t understand, the kids in my neighborhood grew up successful. Maybe it was the extra fucking lead we had in the water. Who knows? Two neighbors older than me.
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