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On waking up. On moving. Looking down, I see the muscle that has atrophied into nonexistence, I see the bone that withered flesh covers, calcium deposits long since depleted. A shattered remnant of a body. I know that if I could see my face I would be horrified at the sunken depth of my eye sockets, at the thinness of my hair and the skeleton-like qualities I have taken on so greedily to end the pain within my soul. I know I must choose. Power or continued pain. The feeling of the universal creation flowing through my body would be as sweet as any kiss, as intoxicating as any liquor, yet I fear it. I fear what temptations I would have, I could undo the separation. I could heal myself. Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve with the quiet coldness of ice, numbing my heart to what I have been part of, have seen. As tempting, in its own way, as the power I could open myself to. I choose.. We’re making homemade ice cream tonight, come over after dinner for ice cream and a swim, it’s adult’s only and clothing optional.” Nat said, “I’ll bet my beautiful white ass Dave didn’t wright that!”Maggi looked at Nat and said, “Becky!, she wants to fuck another man in this neighborhood so bad.” I said, “which man?”Nat said, “You’re Number ONE on her list, but she’ll settle for any man that will have her and can get a hard-on.”Just then Curtis and Lorraine ring the doorbell, Maggi answers the door, still naked. Lorraine says, “Oh SHIT, did we come at a bad time?”Nat answered, “No Maggi is just trying to win The Slut of Odessa award.”Maggi pulled them in and said, “I am sticky and sweaty from the beach, and I’m not putting on clothes until I get a shower.”Lorraine says, “Did you guys get a note from Becky?”I said, “Yes, are you going, who else is invited?”Just then, Maggi and Nat grabbed Cutis and said, “I thought you were going to come by and say hello yesterday?”Lorraine came up.
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