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The c***dbirth DumpThis one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.The Machine Gun DumpBest utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.The Sound Effect DumpYou feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about. She’s a woman and she’s small. It’s their first time working with her so they’ll try to push her around. It’s human nature.”“Uh, I’m not trying to get out of this but don’t you think they’ll try to push me around, too?” I asked.“No,” Liz said, shaking her head. “Word has already gotten around about who is going to win a fight with you. They knew I let Stephanie go because she couldn’t work with you and they won’t push their luck.”I frowned.“I know it sucks but it’s also true,” Liz said. “If you tell them I want something a certain way they’ll do it that way. I also know that you’ll call me if you find something that you aren’t sure about. I’m worried that Jill will be so intent upon proving her worth that she’ll try to fix everything on her own. I know you won’t let that happen. You’ll look out for her and you’ll keep me in the loop. I ... I wish I had somebody else but I don’t. I need you down there to be my eyes and ears. I’d go myself but ... well ... last night threw us off.
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