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“Yeah, that was one of my first attempts, and though it went through many revisions, it’s probably the book I’m most proud of,” he said with a humble tone. “I was a younger man, and everything was fresh and clear as I wrote. I tried to include things that were exciting to me and use the book to explore myself. In all honesty, It was really a selfish project. I never thought I would end up publishing it, but when I had finished, I wanted to share what I had done ... and maybe make a buck or two,” he said with a chuckle. “I certainly never thought I’d be standing here talking about it with my own son, but I think it’s a good opportunity to let you in on my secret ... Seeing as how you’re already familiar with my collection.”“Does Mom know?” I blurted out. I couldn’t imagine Mom condoning these publications, but then again, I viewed her as a “mother” and not as a sexual being.“Even though your Mom and I share almost everything, Charlie, this was something I decided to keep to myself. So,. “I feel it now. Pete. I love you. I need you to know I do.” She was starting to cry. “I’m so sorry I’m not gonna be around to tell you from now on.”“No! Nonononono!” I babbled. “Don’t you leave me! You’re gonna make it and we’re going to Miami and we’re gonna be happy there. We’ll get a little place near the beach,” I promised as if pleading with her not to leave me. “I’ll get a job and you’ll go to school and everything will be perfect. You just have to stay awake. Stay with me, honey.”But she was already gone. I’d had so little time with her and she was dead, trapped with me in her little Honda Civic. I felt her fingers go slack and heard her whisper that she loved me one last time and then she closed her eyes for good.“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” I bellowed and wailed in despair. “NOOOO! Wake up, Baby!” I lost all sense of time, shaking her a little as I tried to coax a response out of her. I held her, leaning across the seat to wrap my arms around her and cried. Then the emergency.
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