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"I'm not trying to make excuses, but this didn't all happen just because I'm a man. Some of it happened because they are women." That sounded pretty vague after I said it. "Do you understand?"She stared back at me."I understand completely."She got up and got a paper towel. She used it to wipe up the spilled coffee under her cup. Things had moved forward in a way that, to me, was quite positive. No call to 911 had been involved, for instance. And we had talked. I wanted to keep things moving forward, and I thought that the best way to do that was to give Hannah all the options. She hadn't had a choice in any of this, including the way she found out about it. So I thought letting her decide what to do might make her feel better. More in control, sort of."So what do you want to do now?" I asked.That turned out to be too vague an option."I don't know," she said. "My mind is whirling. I haven't had time to process all this." I can take you both to the airport," I suggested. "Of course. For the first time in my life thoughts of missing my husband care and love came to my mind. I felt very sad about missing him. I learned about masturbation for few days’ masturbation helped me to kill my feelings. I used to finger in the initial days but later on I chose to use candle or carrots to satisfy myself. These also become routine and bored. Masturbation could not help me to overcome my feelings. I didn’t have guts to use any other man. In those same days I had developed habit of watching one of the security boy, while he go for pissing at the back of our flat I was dare to see him coz he cannot see me as I stay at second floor. That was also making me bit happy. But never took an attempt to make use of that security boy as I was feared of my family future.As routine on a day my brother in law came to house around 11 in the morning. He was supposed to return on the same day at night. He is working for defense and he is having responsible position in defense. As usual I.
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