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"Let's go away somewhere," I said, on Morning Three of the off-season."Where?" The Islands, maybe. Somewhere with a beach." I don't tan all that well," Sandy said."I'll get you a big beach umbrella," I said. "You can stay in the shade." Hey! Let's go to a nude beach!" Sandy said."They've got lots of topless beaches, in the Caribbean," I said."Not topless! Nude!" Hmmm. I don't know. You've got a lot more to be showing off, on a nude beach, than I do," I said."You got hang-ups about people seeing your Nether Appendage, here?" she asked, taking the aforementioned appendage into her hand and squeezing it gently."Well, if you had spent as much time in the Orioles' locker room as I have," I told her, "you'd be aware that I am not leading the American League in nether appendages." I've always heard that it wasn't what you've got, but how you used it, that counts." That's what women have been taught to say to guys with small dicks," I said."It isn't small," Sandy said, still squeezing. She. 'Matt didn't touch the new files all morning. They sat on his desk, taunting him. Just before lunch his mobile phone beeped. He'd received a text message.-Hey Sexy R U busy KellyMatt quickly sent her a one word reply-Yes.He put the phone down and it beeped again.-Shame cause im free rest of today fancy lunch? Call me Kel xxMatt pressed the recall button and Kelly answered immediately.'So, where are you taking me for lunch today?''I can't, Kelly. I'm having lunch with your husband's litigator.''Oh, really? And isn't a new client more important?''Kelly, you're not the client. Roy is.''So you haven't looked at the files yet?''What d'you mean?''Take a look. You'll see that even though the files are in Roy's name, he's given you authority to deal with me on his behalf.''What?' Matt scrambled for the top file and flicked through it. 'How did you get him to do that?''Matthew ... What do you think I've been doing for the past ten years? Staying at home watching Richard and Judy? I.
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