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Me, I’m out of place. Pretty much everywhere. And not many see this, simply because nobody really wants to think someone doesn’t have a place to fit into. Be polite, do not show how tired useless talk makes you, and you’ll find a response close to acceptance. It was, if you must know, at a funeral that this feeling crept up on me. Of my girlfriends stepmother’s cousin. I don’t think even she cared, how could I be expected to? She was expected to be here, and I, not being rude to them, was for some reason believed to like them, and treated as a part of the family – this I did not like, just so we’re clear – and because of that, also expected to attent. I’m weak that way, I’ll even go to a funeral I don’t want to be at to avoid an unpleasant confrontation. So there I was, in a black suit, sitting with a blank expression, hoping people will ignore me, fully aware this was not to be. ‘There you are!’ Why can’t that one just die? It was an aunt, or something like that, and she was talking. I was very shy, and my friends tried really hard to get me out of it, but nothing had worked. And every time they introduced me to a guy, I’d go running off the other way. It was quite embarrassing to be 23, beautiful AND shy. I tried working on my confidence and found that it worked…in the mirror. I knew how to respond to most pick up lines, and made myself appear to be bold. But if I wanted that true, real-life experience, then I’d have to get out of the shell and explore. And then one day, I went to the club and had the best experience of my life… I sat by the bar at Rain, a popular mingling joint downtown. Finishing a small glass of champagne, I sat back and relaxed with the crowd. Watching the atmosphere ignite, I decided that after a hard week, I deserved this. I wore a little black dress, medium height heels and my lucky silver earrings. My hair was down and I wore no makeup besides lip-gloss. The lights were dim, romantic serenades strumming through the air, and all was.
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