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Without realizing it, I walk away to get a second cup of coffee while she’s still talking. Inside it’s steamy and smells of wood and damp umbrellas. I exchange pleasantries with Armand, my favourite barrista in the universe. He threatens to take me away from all this, yet again, and I tell him to get off his duff and do it already. And then I notice, upstairs, not quite in our favourite spot but close, and he’s there. I swallow and stroll up the squeaking wood stairs. He notices me when I get to the top and just looks stricken and pale. I pull out the corduroy chair beside him and sit, perched. ‘Hey,’ I say. ‘Hey,’ he agrees. One thing I can honestly claim is that it has never been uncomfortable between me and Ben. Even that time I witnessed his father slapping him across the face for forgetting to take out the trash, we still found things to say to each other and he trusted me to be there and say the right things. It’s like this person beside me isn’t Ben. I want to tear my hair out. I certainly wouldn’t mind continuing the friendship, but I wasn’t going to be devastated if I didn’t see her again.This was not even remotely like the situation with Pippa. If I could find a way to see Pippa again, as she put it, even only to talk, I’d do my best to accomplish that. And it wasn’t the fact we’d had sex. If she had decided to get in the cab and go home after the ice lolly, I still would want to see her again to talk. Pippa and I had connected, and she’d helped me learn about myself and about my relationship with Michelle. And while the previous Sunday had caused a bit of a revelation, it was caused by my own visceral reaction, not the product of a deep conversation with Karla.“I think there’s a big misunderstanding here,” I said. “Your friends pushed you to do something for all the wrong reasons. They misread the situation completely.”“You aren’t angry?”“With you? Not even a little. With your friends? Maybe a bit, but I think they simply misunderstood what was going.
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