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Just a bit of fun! The boys’ little show is called ‘Foreign Cooking’.?The lights came up at the far end of the room. There was a trestle table with various bowls on. A very large oil cloth covered the floor in front of the table.Standing on the oil cloth were two strange figures. Each dressed in a large apron. On their heads they were wearing a treukh. (A Russian fur cap with ear-flaps and a back flap.) Their faces were hidden under two large bushy beards (surely false?).?Good evenink!? said one of the figures (Roland??) in a weird foreign accent. ?We are from Rooshia.? (Boos and laughter from the diners, in view of the Crimean War.)?We are vurry warlike people.? (More boos.)?We are master cocks in Rooshia, but are forced to slave in your miserable English kitchen, cocking your savage foreign food.? (Jeers and laughter.)?Thees filth is called ‘Fresh Fruit Salad with Whipped Cream and Custard’. We hope you choke on it!?With these kind words, the two figures turned round. I checked out and left the store, I had gotten about two steps outside of the door and someone grabbed my shoulder. He was a big man with very powerful hands, he emanated authority with his sheer size, like the kind of man you think of that works outside all day. He said “Excuse me miss, but I think you need to come back into the store.” I of course said “no, I don’t sir”. “You have some items in your pocket that you didn’t pay for; I have already called the police.” He slid his hand down to the small of my back and started escorting me back into the store. I immediately knew what he was talking about, “Oh my God, I forgot I put them in my pocket when my hands were full, I will pay for them right now.” He said, “That’s not how this works miss, just come with me.”He never removed his hand from the small of my back as he led me to the back of the store. His hand felt as though he had been keeping it in an oven, it was so warm and big. His office was small with video screens all.
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