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Nat gave me a hug. He whispered, "You look great!"Amos was in front of Beth. "Elizabeth, you look fantastic! Every guy who sees you will be jealous that you're with me."They walked us to Nat's SUV and the guys opened the doors for us. I decided that, while I didn't need it, I liked chivalry. Nat drove us to a park a short way out of town.The guys brought a cooler of soft drinks and bags of chips. Nat had a big soft quilt that we helped spread on the ground in a pretty, shady spot. As we walked the hundred feet or so to the spot from Nat's SUV, we attracted attention. One guy even walked into a tree! We did look hot though we weren't overtly on display. With the quilt spread, the guys offered us soft drinks or wine. I chose wine and, after a pause, Beth did, too.Nat poured four plastic wine glasses and handed them out. He said, "Happy times. Pretty day and pretty ladies. It's good." I smiled at him and leaned on his arm gently. He even blushed a little.I said softly, "Nat, that was a. Shedidn't want anyone to find out, so she hid the coping she did because ofthe hiding. She's been clean for over two decades now. Only bit herfingernails until there were almost no nails left. The pain numbed otherpain. Blood helped. It floods the negativity and pain out. For somemoments at least. She thought about it a lot. She thought about cuttingagain all the time and there were moments it was hard not doing it.In her mind, the fresh razor blade carved through her skin several times.Like a warm knife through butter. Blood drops formed and ran down thearm. Dropped to the floor, leaving red sprinkles on the white tiledbathroom floor. She would just sit there and watch the blood. Smearingthe blood along the wound. Satisfied. At least for a few moments. Thosewere the moments she stood in front of her cabinet. Watching therazorblades. Right next to the bandages, skin closure strips and sterilecompresses. For minutes. Sometimes longer. Ramona kept coming back aswell on those days..
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