I used to read a lot of movie mags, and I agree with you, drugs and booze are two of the quickest ways to kill talent and lose all your money,” Monica said.“Do you remember how hot for you Jarvis was?” I asked.“Yes. That’s another issue for me. I’ve been thinking about that a lot, and while I still can’t really picture myself ever wanting another man to touch me, I’m insecure enough about being a little chunky and not feeling as pretty as your cute little miniatures that I imagine I’d be kind of vulnerable to a guy who wanted me as obviously as Jarvis did that day,” Monica confessed.“Well, I think you probably need the same kind of experience the girls who left did, because you don’t have anything to compare,” I said.“You don’t really want me to fuck another man do you daddy?” Monica asked.“No, I hate the idea, but I also think I’m short changing you most of all the girls. I know I’m almost keeping you all satisfied, but there is still a hunger there in the background, and it will. I would wave to people that I had known but I would never stop and talk. Then there were the walks downtown, I would look in the windows and window shopped but even if I thought I saw something I needed or wanted I would wait till I got home and order it on line or call and have it delivered. The only real shopping I did was when I went to the supermarket and even then I went late in the day when most people were at home. The last and maybe most revealing fact was that I seemed to take the walk down to the ocean more times than any other and it was almost half the time. Walking at the beach and on the cliffs was solitude at its finest. The only living creatures were the sea gulls, a few pelicans now and then, but for the most part I was alone.I was beginning to see that I really liked having her walk with me, I tried to get her to pick out places where she would like to walk and her reply always was "In Time".It was a Thursday and we were walking downtown when she asked if we could.
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