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“Honey, why don’t you try it on?” Megan surprised her husband by asking him to try it on.“Oh… ehm… okay," Joshua said nervously as Anya turned around in her chair expecting him to pull down his pants.As he slowly pulled down his pants, his six-inch hard penis flipped out from under his pants.“And this is why the white men on the island wear these belts, so they don’t get these unfortunate premature erections," Anya said looking at Joshua’s penis.“Oh." Megan nodded in an understanding way as she looked down at her husband’s erection.“Unfortunately your husband will probably have to ejaculate before we can get a proper fit for him," Anya said as she picked up a small plastic cup, and handed it to Joshua.“Ehm, I don’t think I can." Joshua felt rather nervous as he had never come in front of a woman before. Even with Megan, they had always been under bed sheets when they made love, so she had never seen cum.“Maybe I can help?” Megan surprised her husband again by offering to possibly. How many times had Stacy said these exact words to me within the ten months we had been roommates? And how many times had those words proved to be complete crap? The answer to both those questions: Too many.“Ell, I swear to you. If you happen to be, ah, unsatisfied, I’m going to do the dishes for the rest of the year.” She said ‘unsatisfied’ with a raunchy sex hotline voice that made me cringe a little.I mean, yes, we were talking about that sex toy everyone and their grandma (sometimes literally) was talking, blogging, twittering and instragramming about, so that voice might be justified. But you see – sex toys just are not my thing. At all. Kinda like some people never get the hang of bidets, or quinoa, or menstruation cups, or saunas, or oral sex (both giving and receiving). Everyone knows it’s good for you, and it makes 99.9% of all people very happy, but sometimes you just end up in that 0.1%. People think you’re a naysayer, when all you really are is a ‘sorry, I think I must be.
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