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I waited a little longer.No change. I made breakfast. Still a man.The awful realisation of what I was and what I had been crushed me - Ileft my breakfast cereal to congeal and cried listlessly, staring intospace and knowing with awful certainty that I couldn't bear being maleany more.The next week passed in miserable moping. Each evening when I got homefrom work I put on that dress and each time I stayed resolutely male andtook it off. Where I had once looked forward to getting home andstepping into a skirt, now the idea repulsed me. Having been out andgloriously woman I couldn't accept any shallow substitute."You can do it?" I said to the mirror one morning, it might have beenWednesday. I'd been busy researching through the internet and checkinggovernment websites for processes and structures, forms and proceduresfor changing my gender. I could have wept at the prospect of the rockyroad I was looking along, but having experienced one afternoon as PippaI knew I needed to do it.Friday. " You don't like accounting?" I like it, but I don't like where I work. Lots of jerks. It would somuch better if everyone minded their own business. Everyone justgossips so much there and everyone is worried that someone else mightbe doing less work than they are." That happens somewhat where we work, but we are driven by writing.It's our own thing. Sometimes the opposite happens where someone feelslike they don't get enough work. They want to write more." Where would you move to?" I'd love to live down south," she said. "Maybe Florida. Somewhere nearthe water." Jena and I have talked about that too. We'd love to be where it iswarm and near the beach."She smiled, "If you had your choice at the beach, would you wear guys'trunks, a ladies' one-piece, and a two-piece bikini?" Bikinis are usually two-piece."She laughed."I'd like to think I could pull off a bikini, but I don't think Icould. I'd probably do a one piece." Do you want a sex change?" she asked."No, I like being a man who.
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