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10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.And in closing...Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways. A few minutes later, June arrived with Tiny. I watched the two of them lock lips for a couple of minutes before Tiny got out of June's car. June waved to all of us and left."Hey, Tiny!" Camille said."Yeah, Camille. What's up? June said something about some trouble?" I want you to meet two of my friends. This is..." Kristen Swift," Tiny finished. "Archy Jonas," Tiny introduced himself, extending Kristen a large paw."Pleased to meet you," Kristen said, taking Tiny's hand."And you're the guy they call 'Oogie, '" Tiny said, turning to me. "Jim something?" Jim Crittenhouse," I said, offering my hand to Tiny."You are a mean mother on the horn," Tiny said, smiling."I've heard you called the same on the wrestling mat," I said with a laugh.Tiny had a deep laugh that shook his entire body."Now, who is this problem that you want me to take care of?" Tiny asked, getting right to the point.Since only the four of us were around, I decided to cut right to the chase. "His name is Tim Hawking." The.
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