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‘Since I can’t have children anymore I don’t have any interest in sex.’ I didn’t say anything. I wrote off her statement to the strain and emotion of having miscarried again and having an operation. I figured that within a few weeks or a couple of months she would be inviting me back between her legs. Six months went by and not once had she kissed me like a lover or a wife. She hadn’t joined me in the shower, hadn’t patted me on the butt and was offended the three times I had patted her. I wanted to scream at her, yell, rant, beg or whatever would end the drought! She also all but stopped talking. Conversations with her were marked by short utterances like, ‘Whatever you want.’ ‘I don’t really care’ became almost a mantra. One Friday night at the end of those six months we were invited over to the home of our pastor for dinner. We accepted thinking that there would be a dinner party. It was just the four of us. The dinner was good and the conversation during dinner was mostly about. With last week’s warning in mind, I said yes, of course I’d been practicing, though it quickly became obvious that I hadn’t been when I wasn’t playing any better than last week. She stopped me halfway through an exercise and told me to stand up. I did as she said, feeling rather guilty. It seemed as though the sweet house wife that taught me piano had been replaced by an angry nun. She had me kneel on the piano bench with my hands resting on the keyboard cover. Then she told me to lift up my skirt. Like a good Catholic school girl I did as I was told. It might sound strange to you, but one of the core tenants we were taught in school was obedience to our elders, and like I said, my high school still punished students with paddling. I’d also occasionally been spanked by my best friend’s mother before and was sometimes still spanked by my parents, so getting a few swats from an older lady was not new to me at all. And of course there was also the fact that I hadn’t practiced piano in.
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