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The two must just have talked about the night Howe had attacked, because Fergus was sobbing, and Aedan was holding him with a look of such abject guilt in his eyes it caused me physical pain. I couldn’t help it – I shot Aedan a sympathetic look, and then stepped back outside. I stood beside the tent flap, heart pounding, slightly short of breath, feeling nervous and ashamed all at once.Who am I to go in there and be their sister? They lost everything. A bloodline doesn’t let me share their grief. I’m such a fraud.I sank down onto the ground, arms wrapped around my knees, head down, shaking a little. I couldn’t decide if I was more worried about being rejected, or being accepted. I honestly hadn’t spent much time considering what it would be like with Fergus in our lives; now it occurred to me I’d been in denial, avoiding thinking about it.I sat there for a while, torn between going back in, or walking away altogether, when I heard the two men start talking. I should have left – I. Ivan "Cookie" Samulski came home early from the Polish War Veteran Club,irate and sober. One reason he was irate was that the man who lookedforward to feeling a little fine at the end of a Saturday night was sober.The blue collar man worked hard as a bricklayer and needed a couple ofhours where he could just unwind. This common man did not ask for a lotout of life and was denied his biggest pleasure.The other and more important reason for Cookie's irateness was Alfred,that no- good son of his, was a freak in his eyes. When he thought abouthis son being a freak, Ivan always had the question of "what have we doneto deserve this?" pop into his head. The worried father could not figureout why his youngest son was acting out just for attention. Needing tohave people notice him was so out of Alfie's personality. He was a quietreserved man who liked to be in the background.At first, Ivan swore his favorite son was playing some sort of practicaljoke on him when the unamused man found out.
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