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There was also a lot of alcohol involved, so that also served as a lubricant for some people (but not in that way). The second bottle decided who you were going to be hooking up with out of the guys or the girls. Finally, the third bottle decided what you were going to be doing. There was a seriously large range of possible options here, and most of it was not stuff that I would normally do (I obviously can’t speak for the other people there, most of them I didn’t know, but they were friends of Sarah’s, and I assumed that they probably liked sex a whole lot — I was right). There were relatively low-key things, like kissing, sucking nipples, and feeling up the other person. But the majority of the options were hard sex acts. Oral sex was well represented, as well as normal sex, sex with toys, anal sex — you get the idea. A lot of the stuff was new to me, and in my mind I had my fingers crossed that I wouldn’t be forced to do a whole lot of the different acts, even though I’d only be. But no...no I can't do it here. There are too many people it would hurt so I have to stay until it's my time to go. I only want to kill myself, not end other peoples lives. Diary maybe you can't give me the answers but I wish someone could. I have never had a time in my life where I haven't had a good memory...But that's all it ever is; a memory. Nothing solid or right in front of me. I can remember times I had laughed and what not. Tried to be a good and faithful best friend. Tried to find a way to make things better. Maybe I just try too hard I mean, lord knows I try. But all I have are my memories. No one stays with me long, in fact, I've never been able to keep a friend for more then four years. I know that seems like a short time considering I'm not very old but I already feel the weight of this self loathing. I don't want it any more. Sorry Diary I have to cut it short. Someone’s knocking on my door. I have to divert attention to something, anything...As long as its not the.
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