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“I blamed you for a lot of things that were just as much my fault as yours. I could have come out swinging against you. I could have said the first thing that came to my mind that night and we probably would have been even. Instead I hid myself away. That wasn’t your fault, Hailey; it was mine. Don’t worry about it and don’t worry about what anyone thinks about me. I told you, I really don’t care. I realized this week that I’m not going to be like some of these schmucks. I’m not going to have to take my college degree and go to work at the mall.“I have a readymade career waiting for me even if I never finish college at all. There are probably a lot of kids who can say that but there are a lot more who can’t. Why do I care what some liberal arts major who likely will wind up working for a year to earn as much I’ll make in a week says about me? I have a great family, a network of friends already established in the city where I’ll probably live and a job waiting for me. Screw the people. .. I liked him, so I didn't wanna ruin it, so... I gave a reason to why we couldn't have fucked. I said I was gay." She said, looking away. "Anyways, I had to go through my high school life not talking to my friends about guys, and talking about girls instead. Do you know how degrading and depressing it is to not have anyone of your preferred gender look at you sexually because they all thought you were gay? It sucks. I couldn't fuck any guy, in fear that they'd say something, and the case of me and the original guy would come back up. I couldn't do it. I was so happy to leave that place, and come to college, but... just my fucking luck, someone from my old school goes here now. And they still talk to everyone at home. So I can't come out. Not yet, at least." She sighed. "And here we are. I trust you to not tell anyone, too. I can't fucking take it anymore. I haven't fucked someone in four years, Matt. Please." She stared into my eyes.I stared back. "... WHAT?!"She laughed. "It's the.
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