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My train of thought was interrupted when a familiar looking girl I didn’t recognize in a t-shirt and shorts arrived in the kitchen, and loudly cleared her throat. ‘Lost in thought?’ the girl said. ‘A bit,’ I lied, as I tried to place who the girl was, and where I knew her from, ‘I was just wondering what my master might like for lunch.’ ‘Smoked Mullet sandwiches are pretty much Steven’s catnip.’ She said with a wave of her hand, ‘There should be some spread in the fridge that’s had a couple of days to mellow, and there’s leftover brioche rolls from last night. Just feed him one of those with some lettuce and a tomato slice and he’ll be yours for the rest of the day, unless you were snacking on sardines again.’ I just stood there, still trying to place the girl, until she spoke again. ‘Holy crap, you really don’t recognize me with my hair down.’ She said, as she pinched the bridge of her nose, ‘Marie, I’m Anne.’ ‘Wait, aren’t we always supposed to be in uniform?’ I said, as Anne. ”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned.
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