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Part of me wanted to get up and run, another kept telling me about the Peter who loved me. I didn't know what to do. Was this domestic violence? Why did I like it. Basically I was in complete turmoil. When he gently leaned down and kissed my cheek and stroked the hair out of my face I started to cry. The reaction that caused I was not prepared for. It was clearly not what he wanted. He immediately hugged me to him and began apologizing like crazy for hurting me, explaining he got a bit carried away and thought I liked it. He was saying he loved me and apologizing a hundred different ways. He begged me to please say something. I said “May I please have some water?”After kissing me he got up fast and came back with water. I slowly sat up and turned around, leaning on the headboard, I sipped the water. I had no idea what to say or how to feel. I looked up at him and he brushed my hair back so we could see each others eyes. “Peter” I began “I love you. I love you so much that I just let. I stayed on the computer till I was totally exhausted. I finally tried to sleep and found that it wasn't difficult, since I was drunk on green dragon and exhausted emotionally and physically.I had no idea why Tommy had effected me so much. He wasn't the first person I had seen killed. He wasn't even the first one I had personally killed. He wasn't even close. Hell I had tortured people to death, but I had always thought I was on god's side.The difference was I might have been doing it to save my own ass. This time I might have been doing it to shut him up and that was a bad thing, if I did it for that reason. Then I thought about it again. Jamison had given us all the same information Tommy was offering me. So I didn't allow anyone to get away by killing him. Even if I hadn't shot him, he pointed his gun and me and Liam was going to do it anyway. Hell before Tommy hit the ground, Liam had blown his face off. Screw it, I thought. Then I turned over and forgave myself before I drifted.
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