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”I could only look at her, at a loss for words. I don’t think anyone had ever said those words and really seemed to mean them. Oh, I had my fill of sweet words from guys’ years ago. I swear in school a guy will say anything if he thinks it means sex. But soon you realize how empty the words were. Natalia’s words filled places in me I didn’t know were empty. I barely knew her, but her sincerity.“If we do that again, I have to give you fair warning.” Her grin went to a megawatt smile, “If you sit across from me, expect to feel my foot in your lap!”I could only smile at that mental image, but then I also realized she meant it and, as crazy as it sounded, I loved the idea. Visions of a small dinner party at my house filled my head as she moved and pulled us apart.“You didn’t cum, well I know how to fix that!” She said, driving any ideas of a party from my head. She literally dove between my legs, pushing them up as she started going down on me and also hitting something I remember hearing. It makes me feel more, I don't know, more... complete, I guess theword is" It just scares me though" he continued, "I just don't know what it means.It's not like I'm gay, at least, I don't feel as though I'm gay. I feelreally isolated, really alone with this" Andrew went silent, shaking his headHelen then spoke "You say this all started properly last summer, but you'veknown about it for years. When you started dressing up in my clothes was thatwhen you stopped going out? Is it when you stopped hanging about with yourfriends as much? And I noticed that's about the same time you finished withyour last girlfriend, Lucy, as well. Are they all connected?" I guess, I guess I just started shutting myself away from everybody. Um,deep down I think I was afraid that if people got to know me too well, thenit would become obvious what I am, what I do, that eventually I would letsomething slip. I was petrified that everybody at school would find outbecause my life would become a complete misery..
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