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When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.I still don't think I looked that bad.Straight upAmbidextrous Lady GolferA group of men live and die for their Saturday morning golf game. One transfers to another city and they're lost without him.A new woman joins their Club. When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?"No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says. "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m." He figures the early tee-time will. There was also the guy there fromimmigration. He wanted to make sure this wasn't some type of scam. Itwas now time to walk down the isle. There was no turning back now. Iwas Tiffany Smith and I was on my way down the isle to marry my manCarlos. The ceremony went rather well. It wasn't till the very lastminute when it hit me; I had to kiss Carlos at the end. I was hoppingthat a handshake would do, but I wasn't so lucky. When it came timeCarlos lifted my veil and we kissed. It was a long and sweet kiss. Ifelt as though I was going to pass out. My head started spinning. Itfinally hit me, I was a married woman.When the ceremony was over we went to a small restaurant for areception. It was at the reception when the guy from immigration cameup to congratulate us. He said he wished us well and he looked forwardto seeing us at out home in a week for an interview, to make sure thatthis wedding wasn't a fake. My heart almost stopped. I didn't want todress up again. I didn't want to be alone.
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