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"Wait a minute. You had a great fake date with your best friend?"And that did it. I started sobbing again. Jesus. I was disgusted with myself. What was wrong with me?"You're in love with John." She said it like it was a statement.I could only nod."And you didn't know it?"I shook my head."How could you not know? We've known for years!" I dunno!" I wailed, and then was brought up short as the rest of her statement sunk in. "What? What do you mean?" Oh honey. You had no idea? That's so sad. We've known for years you were in love with him. Everybody knows you carry the biggest torch for John. I can't believe you didn't know."My crying stopped, thankfully. I was too befuddled to be distraught. "I don't understand. Who's we? How long? What does that mean?" Oh god. All of our friends. We've even talked about it, a little. Not like gossip or anything. I thought it was because you'd gone out as kids and he broke your heart or something. I never asked because I thought it must've been painful. On the way, momconfirmed my guess. She told me we were going.I really wanted to tell mom that I wasn't going, but then again, Ireally wanted to go! Caught between the two facets of my life, fear anddesire, I found that I was unable to say no. I had my first taste ofwhat it was like to be out of the house as a girl, and I wanted more,lots more. Besides, not one person, not even the girls I went to schoolwith that had seen me in the lingerie store knew who I was! As I slippedoff the sweater, skirt and blouse, I looked at the corselet lying on thebed, picking it up so I could try it on. The tight fit was nothing, andas I tightened the laces and my waist grew smaller, I felt anoverwhelming sense of my own femininity as my breasts swelled, partiallyfilling the cups of the built in bra, and of course, a smaller waistmade my hips look more natural. I pulled the new dress over my head andzipped it up, feeling the silky material on my skin, reveling in thefact that for the first time, I had a.
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