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Don’t worry. It’s better to ask or talk about something that to leave it unanswered,” I said, doing my best to make her feel comfortable enough to share whatever was on her mind.“Is it wrong…or bad…to masturbate?” she blurted out, her eyes intently fixed somewhere around my feet.“As with most things, it depends,” I answered with therapist-like seriousness, “It is the best way to explore yourself and your sexuality, what you like, what turns you on, that kind of thing. And to safely relieve some sexual attention.”“When is it bad?” she wanted to know next.Now, even more serious, I turn toward her, patiently waiting for her to look up. “I think it’s only when it, or anything else, negatively affects your life that it can become a problem. Let’s say you do it so much that it interferes with your homework…or you do it where it’s indecent…or, you involve others and it may harm your relationship or lead to something more that you are not ready for…”Thinking about what I’ve said, she gently. Problem is, I didn't. I didn't know what to do with the fact that I had fallen in love with a girl my friends just were not going to accept. I felt at war with myself.When I was with Tammy, the world was good. When I wasn't, I just had questions.But I had to find a solution, and I had to find it fast. Because I was hooked. I was in love with her before our relationship started getting physical. Now? Hooked, completely hooked.Look, I liked sex. But this? This was something else.We did it just the way she asked--step by step. The next time we were together, her pants came off and I used my hands on her. The time after that, my pants came off. Then, I introduced her to oral. I'd always liked going down on a girl--with her, it was completely astounding. When I got done, she looked at me and said, "I thought the top of my skull was going to blow completely off!" And she gave me a blowjob like she was an expert. She even swallowed--which shocked the shit out of me! Yes, I warned her. She.
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