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I am not sure who was more surprised when it finally happened, her or me. After secretly monitoring her activities, I was convinced she had planned a tryst one particular day. I worked, at the time, nearly ninety miles away, and she knew that once gone to work, I was not likely to appear any time soon. What she did not plan for was that I would leave as though going to work, and hide out nearby, only to return well before expected. I found a place for breakfast and after an appropriate ninety-minute wait, called the house, ostensibly to ask some inane question, while in reality setting the stage for my unexpectedly early return. I told her I was at work; I bitched about the terrible traffic, and complained about idiot drivers with whom I had contended. I figured she would now be at ease. I waited a bit over thirty minutes and figured the time had come.I parked around the corner and snuck through a neighbor's yard toward my house. When I got to the side of the house, I could hear. ~~~I spend the next two days doing something I haven't done over the last year - looking at myself instead of others. I mean really looking at myself. It's hard, you know ... to make that leap ... accepting you are responsible for your life and your choices. It's easier to just wallow in the pain and blame others. My hate was keeping me connected to him I guess. If I am brutally honest, it was a way to keep myself from going through the pain of finally letting go. I see that now. My tears over him turn to tears over myself. The picture that had taken up a permanent residence in my head fades. His cock fucking her blurs. Her squeals silence. All I see now is a picture of myself driving by his house looking for her car, checking his Instagram a million times, stalking her Facebook for any signs of them together. I finally only see myself and all the time I have wasted and I am embarrassed. My next move is I get in my car and just start driving ... to nowhere in particular. I jam my.
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