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But you are not here. The rare moments that I am horny through my monthly cycle and you are not here. Sometimes I let my hands stray down into that lovely bush and I play. But I am not excited as when you are beside me urging me on. I get frustrated and stop. I turn and hug your pillow and I will myself to sleep. Insomnia ensues. I think about your cock. I love how it smells in your underwear, the pheromones you exude when you’re excited. I think about going down on you. The way I rub my nose against your cock while I debate whether or not I want to suck you that night. The way the heat of my breath permeates your underwear as I open my mouth to engulf your erection. I think of the way you swell against my lips through the cloth. How it turns me on to feel your fingers trailing through my dark hair as I tease you. I want to bring you to that sweet oblivion once more. I want my lips to slowly make their way down your shaft and meet the skin at your base while the head of you throbs. Clothing stores; supermarkets; parks; parties; cinemas; clubs – you name it, we fucked there. James was definitely 'the one'. I was fully in love.But one thing remained. Having had five years of constant sex with a whole host of different men, I missed the variety. I fully understood the irony in fucking so many different men to find one as good as James and now that I had James I was still not satisfied but I soon faced facts – I was greedy. I couldn't get enough cock. I wanted to have my cake and eat it. And whilst I was delighted to have him in my life, I just couldn't believe that James was THE best fuck in the world; he just couldn't be. So it was as if I had to find out who was – to see if there was someone out there comparable.And so, for the next 18 months, I cheated on James at any given opportunity with someone who looked remotely attractive or like they might be a good fuck. No one close to home, though – I was smart. Strictly strangers. So be it guys in clubs, delivery.
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