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I look back now and wonder how I didn't suffer somekind of mental breakdown. I couldn't accept that my parents had agreedto follow the various specialist and health authority recommendationsthat I should be assigned as a female. How could I be a girl?Home and school life was never the same again. I bombarded my parentswith arguments, shouting, crying and tantrums, how could they agree tothis decision. My angry objections were of the same theme "I don't wantto be a girl. I'm a boy and want to do boy things. Not girl things." Icontinued to live as a boy in opposition of the advice given by theendocrinologist, psychologist, psychiatrist and a number of other....ists that had entered my life.At the age of fourteen I knew what the basic physical differences werebetween boys and girls, but I didn't really understand what the subtledifferences were. At one of my ...ists sessions I remember being shown apicture displaying 20 body silhouettes, the number 1 silhouette was of aextremely. I think I had a lot more than I should have and didn’t realize at this point what a delayed reaction the wine would have. We left the other couple after finishing the meal and went to walk around the downtown area for a while. As the time progressed, so did the effects of the vino. It was sneaking up on me quick. I knew it was time to go before it was too late and he ended up having to drag me back to the car. We got in the car and drove back to his place where I had left my car.We arrived at his house and by this time I was cooked. The wine had my juices flowing and I knew that I was in no shape to drive, so there was only one logical option left. He came around and opened my door to left me out of the car and tell me good night. He told me he had a great time and leaned in to kiss me. I raised my hand, touching my fingers to his lips to stop the progression of the kiss. A look of failure and rejection immediately came over his face. I’m sure following the divorce and.
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