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We met at about 8 in a parking lot outside of an upscale enough bar. Shelly got out of her SUV and I noticed how tall she was. She was about 6-0, wearing a black leather coat, a black top showing the tops of her tits and maroon lipstick. We hugged tightly and gave each other a quick kiss near each other's lips."What are you ordering for me, handsome!" she said as I opened the door for her. I smiled. "You're trouble!" she laughed. I eyeballed her up and down, touched her arm and said, "You started it."We got a table and I ordered two shots of tequila. I remembered she liked tequila. Except I told her I was going to introduce her to body shots."You really are trouble!" she said, starting to blush. "How does this work?"I put the salt on her neck and the lime in her mouth. After licking my way towards her lips, I did my shot, traced the outside of her lips with my tongue and then took the lime from her. She shivered and put her hand on my thigh."Think you can top that?" I challenged her.. Then looking over his glasses, he casually asked, “Was that one word, or two?”The Office PartyJohn, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”“Well, screw him!” said John.“I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”How To Stop Church GossipMildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve.
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