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.....For crying out loud. Act your age. There is noSanta!Sometimes I worry about you!!! Now go and get some work done!!!The urine sampleOne time I got sick and landed in hospital. There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child.She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning?” Or “Are we ready for a bath?” or “Are we hungry?”I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand.Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!”The nurse fainted ... I just. * A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."* "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."* "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr* "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill* "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow* "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).* "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas* "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain* "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill* "Cannot possibly attend first.
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