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I had always wanted to talk to her, but to afraid of ruining the perfect scenario in my head, and living in that regret. The day of this story that all changed. Standing there, watching her stare at her shoes in the rain. I took another drag of my cigarette cupped under my hand, and half into my jacket so it wouldn’t get wet. Out of nowhere she turned to me and said. ‘Excuse me? Could you.. Uh.. Do that again?’ Choking on my own words, god I was going to die of asphyxia, I couldn’t breathe much less think of the words that were coming out my mouth as I sputtered them out like a high school kid being caught looking through the holes in the changing rooms. ‘Guh… what did I.. Um.. Uh..look at? Or I.. ‘ She laughed, God her laugh was amazing. It spiked the air with a gentle breeze as it lit up her eyes and her smile brightened up the gloomy evening. ‘Haha.. No, Um take a drag of your smoke. I.. Well I am a photographer, I want to capture that moment, its rather beautiful’ I laughed and. In less than a month she was gone. That event REALLY changed my life. Miss Jerry, one of mom’s many friends stayed with us and helped us dress for the funeral.Then Mrs. Roberts, a supervisor from CPS, Child Protective Services, stayed with us for a few days. She talked about foster care or adoption. I tried to talk her out of both. I desperately wanted to stay in our home with Fran and learn to be the best mom replacement a sister could ever have. What settled it (at least I thought so at the time) was Fran saying she would rather have me for a mom than some stranger.Mom had a little insurance. The insurance lady cried with me and Mrs. Roberts. Fran and I hated to wear clothes at home but Mrs. Roberts said we both had to. I loved the house we grew up in. “I can stay and take care of Fran.” I kept saying that but nobody seemed to listen.It seemed that no matter what happened the money was going to run out. We needed food. We needed clothes. (I would gladly stay nude all the time. That.
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