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"This is Mr. Don Watson with the Halifax Company," I lied. "We are planning a little welcome party for your husband, Jeff, and you. We'd like to supply you with round trip tickets to Springfield and back. This is to be a total surprise for Jeff. Could you make it?"I couldn't help thinking what a prick I was, but all is fair in love and war. I was at war."I could get my sister to watch the children," she answered. "It sounds very nice. When is the affair?"I almost gave a smart-ass answer to her question, but held my tongue."It's tomorrow evening. You'll need to catch flight 1435 on American. Just charge it to your card and the company will compensate Jeff in his check," I told her. "We'll have someone at the airport to pick you up. The flight will arrive at 5 PM and the party will be at eight, so there should be lots of time. Remember to keep this a secret, ok?"She promised not to tell and I ended the conversation. Then I started calling a few of Emily's friends and relatives to invite. She had something entirely different in mind, of course."Tommy?" Wait a minute, had she called me Tommy? Nobody and I mean noBODY, called me Tommy and lived to tell the tale. I was all ready to relax my "Mr. Nice Guy" rule and let her have it when she continued in the little girl voice. "My mom and dad have gone out for the day to go shopping, and I really didn't want to go with them. So would you be a nice best friend and take me over to the mall to pick up a couple of gifts? I promise you it won't take long."Famous last words from a girl who had no sense of time: "It won't take long." Like a lemming heading for the cliffs, I had no choice when she used the "best friend" card with me. I was like putty in her hands when she did that and she knew it. "Okay, I'll take you. But you have to promise me that you are going to go and buy and not just shop all day. I can't stand the crowds at the mall and I don't want to spend all day there." I promise it will only take a little while. I.
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