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What about you guys?”The next dog says, “I bit the mailman for the last time. My owners said they couldn’t risk it anymore, so they brought me here to be put down.”“Bummer,” says the first dog.“yeah, I know,” replies the second.They both look at the third dog, “what about you, what’s your story?”“Well, my master’s wife likes to do housework in the nude. This morning she was scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands and knees when I came thru the kitchen door. I looked at her and couldn’t help myself. I just ran over there and started humping her like crazy.”“Oh my,” exclaimed the first 2 dogs, “I can understand why she would want to put you down for that.”“Oh, I’m not here to be put down, she dropped me off to get my nails trimmed.”“Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.”“Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.”The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife.“Take off your clothes,. It means taking down another photo, thisone a team photo for the school hockey team, but it doesn't bother me.I place it in the same drawer as the others. Just before I shut it, myeyes come to rest on Chloe. She looks about twelve, sitting crossedlegged in the front row. I recognise her coy smile, I have seen it inthe mirror many times.Finally I select a record to play The Smiths, The Queen is Dead. Theywant a teenager I am going to give it to them. Walking across the roomI stop in front of the full-length mirror. Strange, I think, I stand upon tiptoes. Is it in my mind or am I a little smaller? I put my hand ontop of my head and measure it against the backdrop of my room. My headreached just above the third shelf in the bookshelf, now it is on thesame level. But, I have just filled them with records. It probably justlooks that way.The next morning Lily insists we go to the shops. I am due to start ata new school in a few weeks, right after the Easter holidays. Shedrives us through a.
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