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” He made an exaggerated motion, preparing to kill the man in chain mail.“No!” Yren cried loudly. Then, softer, “I’ll drop my weapons.”“Don’t do it, boy!” Ardt called, his face set. Even from this distance, though, Yren could see the pain in his eyes. “He’ll kill me anyway.”“What a horrible thing to say!” Arlade answered innocently. “That’s scandalous! It’s as if you think I enjoy this kind of thing – all this killing and fighting. I’m so misunderstood!” He shook his head, the hand holding the sword deathly still. “I assure you, I do not relish bloodshed.” He looked over at Yren. “I will, however, do it – as much as I’d hate to.”‘Hatred’ and ‘Rage’ clattered from Yren’s numb fingers to the ground. He readied himself. He knew he could fall to the ground and grab the swords. He might not be able to make it back up – but Sir Givens had trained him for that eventuality as well. He’d likely die – but he’d take as many of them with him as he could.“Better,” Arlade laughed, easing the. It was years ago you see, that my humanity was taken from me. I surrendered in a way that seems logical by definition in its demand that I no longer refer to myself, or even think of myself as, a person. Since I am now an object, chattel of limited value, an animal, I think of myself as an it a thing to be used, or not, by my owners or their agents. By the end of this sentence, I will no longer refer to myself as an I, instead it will refer to itself as just what it is, a thing, and use the proper words to do so. Ahhh. What a relief. To write of itself as other than an it, is stressful, reminding it of the way it used to think when it was a person, and the nightmarish pain that it now associates with the struggle it put up in fighting its surrender. You see, it's not that it lives without pain--on the contrary, it lives with pain every moment of its life. Just that it understands now that pain, abuse, degradation, humiliation, torture, punishment, service, and solitude are.
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