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Martin and Tina took their bags upstairs while I headed for the kitchen to make the coffee. As I waited for the coffee to percolate I wondered what the kids and I could do for the next two weeks that they would be visiting me; I had the same problem every year, what to do. Mind you I had always enjoyed the annual two-week visit of my big sister's kids, especially after my own marriage had broken up; they had cheered me up no end. Martin had now turned nineteen, his sister was eighteen, and growing more beautiful each time I saw her.What I liked most about the kids was that they seemed to think nothing of the age gap between us, their attitude made me feel like a twenty year old instead of a woman of thirty-eight. The kettle clicked off and I busied myself with making coffee, I could hear the kids moving about upstairs and took the steaming cups into the living room with a smile on my face. A few minutes later they came into the living room; for some reason Tina's face seemed a little. Her lovers would phone, when I was home, and she would leave to meet them. I stayed, for the sake of the children. They needed one stable parent in the home. When she died, it was a relief. I never mourned the loss, like you mourned Michael. There was no need. I had mourned the loss of my marriage years before. Her death, was the finality I sought. Her death gave me freedom. Funny, when we first met, and married, we had a satisfying sexual relationship. When she started having the affairs, I lived a life of celibacy, not wanting to be the one who stepped out on his spouse, so she could ask me for a divorce." Michael was my first lover, I was a virgin when we married. That was important to me, that I was able to give him that part of me, on our wedding night. I haven't been with another man either. I know that celibacy is not easy, the urges, the desires, don't just go away. They linger on, a sweet torture of what once was. Michael and I had a wonderful sex life. When.
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