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And perhaps those were the happy years, at least compared to these last few months where a newly awakened need to get away had started to make my life almost as miserable as those first few months of married life. I stood there sipping a glass of champagne, smiling to everyone that passed me by, the ever increasing need to scream, rage and cry almost overwhelming me. It had been like this since that one Thursday evening with my friends when Sarah had told us that she longed for someone she could love and Mary had laughed and said ‘be careful what you wish for’. Something had just clicked in my mind right then and there, the calm grayness that surrounded me had started to slip away and I became aware of my own thoughts and feelings again. And I started crying myself to sleep every night and woke up screaming every morning. Very silently of course, because I knew the punishment that followed unwanted bursts of emotion. How I wished I could be free from this miserable life and brave. We cleared the channel and entered the bay, following the markers that told me where the water was deep enough to accommodate the draft of my keel. I explained that to her. She nodded."Just take the wheel and keep us between the markers and let me get the cover off the sail," I said."'Kay, cap'n," she replied.I stowed the cover in a locker. "Another two markers and we'll be deep enough to leave the channel," I said. "Then we'll raise the sail."A few minutes later, we were ready. "Okay, I'm going to raise the sail. You can expect it to pull us off course, so get ready to put some effort into the wheel." I think I can handle it," she said. She did a good job. I cleated the sheet securely and rejoined her in the cockpit. We chose an easy reach for a course and I fiddled with the sheet to optimize the sail's draft, then killed the engine.Bereft of the mechanical noise, the world changed to wind and water and sun. And a smiling freckled face with blue eyes and an outrageous pony tail..
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