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How am I not going to fall in love with you? I’m not so sure I’m not in love with you now. I don’t really know how that feels, but I know I want to spend every minute of every day with you. I don’t know if being in love feels any different than that.”Me: “Oh, Eric, please don’t say that. I’m trying not to fall in love with you too. We just can’t. We’ll both end up unhappy because we can’t be together.”Eric: “I know. If you weren’t so fucking perfect and beautiful and sexy and smart and everything, I could just enjoy you for the sex. It’s really all your fault, little Miss Perfect.”I knew he was kidding while expressing his true feelings. This wasn’t going to end well but I’m wasn’t about to stop this relationship. I couldn’t wait for the next time we’d try to go further with our golden showers.Chapter 9We planned our next shower time. Well, we planned to be full of pee for our next shower time. We each downed a couple of bottles of water as soon as we got home from. After a minute I got up and got some tissue for her. Fortunately my boner had subsided a bit. It no longer looked like I had a tent in my sweats.After a few minutes she stopped, composed herself and dried her eyes. I asked, “Have you considered other alternatives? There are fertility d**gs, perhaps adopting”.“I don’t want to adopt. I want ‘our’ c***dren. I know that sounds stupid and emotional but it’s just how I feel. We talked to the doctor some time ago about artificial insemination and fertility d**gs but we just cannot afford it. It’s thousands of dollars, sometimes tens of thousands”.I knew it was expensive. “Honey, I wish we could help but we are in a bind right now also. Maybe in a few years it will be different”. With that my voice kind of trailed off. I didn’t know what else to say that would help.Nancy sat up and turned to face me, “I know, but there is something you can do that would fix the problem. I have given this a lot of thought. You can do something that will help.
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