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Again I wished that he hadput something in the potion that changed us that would make me love him,I got quite depressed about this, but kept my feelings to myself.Christmas Tony and I spent with my family, mum and dad, sister Julie andmy kids Kerry and Michael it was strange but I was the daughter (which Itruly was now) and Tony (who used to be their daughter) was a welcomeguest.New Year was different as it was the pub's busiest time of the year whenfood was laid on for everyone and all the staff worked - including Tony,it was a great night, tempered for me that soon Tony would be leaving,we went to bed about four in the morning and fell asleep in each othersarms, I woke about seven and just stared at his handsome face, all thefeeling about wishing I could fall in love with him surfaced and I tearsstarted streaming down my face, soon I was quietly sobbing so as not towake him, I was breaking up inside.I felt him move and he took me into his arms soothing me, it was verycomforting. He got angry of course, but not at me, at the situation. Then everyone got really upset that I hadn’t told them sooner. I had to do a lot of explaining about that. They couldn’t seem to understand that I just didn’t want to talk about it and that I was embarrassed and ashamed.’ ‘Understandable – their reaction, I mean.’ ‘Yes, I actually thought I was doing them a favor by not burdening them with such horrible news, especially after the fact, when they couldn’t do anything about it anyway. But Molly – that’s my older sister – Molly asked how I would feel if the tables were turned and the answer was immediately obvious: of course I would want to know!’ ‘Of course. And you would be very hurt if she didn’t tell you.’ ‘Yes. So I had some apologizing to do about that, but they weren’t looking for an apology, they were just incredibly angry that I went through that experience and horribly sad that I felt I needed to handle it alone. So now my mom is calling me every day, and Molly and.
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