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’ ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Daaaaaan I am sooooo glad you called me. Do you know what’ and I said yes I did. ‘I never ever gave you my address or phone number’ and I started laughing, she did too and I told her that’s why I was calling her. ‘Youuuuu are such a darling’ she said. ‘You are soooooooo sweet Daaaan.’ I asked her what time she gets off work. She told me 3:30 and I told her I’d be there at 3:35. She was giddy. I was nervous and anxious. I kept thinking ‘Ask her to marry you now before she gets away.’ I was there promptly and she insisted I follow her to her apartment. She left it there and hopped in my car and we looked at each other. We smiled like too teenagers having kissed for their very first time. ‘Sue Anne I am going to tell you exactly what it was I was thinking.’ ‘Really’ she asked. ‘That is so cool. That is so neat that you would open up so early in a relationship. I really like that. I’m going to tell you something too maybe but it all depends on what you tell me. "JayJay leaned over to me, showing a lot of cleavage. It looked awfullyreal."You know, I could make you look just like Terry Clark, with the bighat and all."I smiled and said that not many people had ever told me that."I'll bet not darlin'." JayJay laughed.He poured two Jack Daniels for us and continued."So their wives were all a bit jealous, them goin' to work and the boyssittin' at home with big swollen bellies. Thelma even told Delbertshe'd make him wear her sister's old maternity pants before she boughthim new size up overalls."Now, you may know that beer bellies are a time honored tradition hereand I swear some of those boys seemed to be tryin' for the town title.And they were doin' less actual huntin' and fishin' and more talkin'about them as it was gettin' harder to not tip the boats and crawl intothe duck blinds."Now, a bit later on comes into the picture Mr. Van Sussman himself,the Diet King. You know, the one that was all over the TV, especiallylate at night? Yes the one.
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