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”“It’s in the judge’s hands now” said the lawyer.“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” asked the defendant.“Oh no!” said the lawyer. “This judge is a stickler for ethical behaviour. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even find you in contempt of the court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge.”Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favour of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked.”“I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them” said the lawyer.“But I did send them” said the defendant.“What?! You did?”“Yes, that’s how we won the case.”“I don’t understand” said the lawyer.“It’s easy. I sent the cheapest cigars that I could find to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card...”There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no. Before Crowley left, he managed to push through a couple of commendations, one for me and one for Little Billy, and I picked up another Purple Heart. He also approved my qualification under the Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act to conceal-carry as a retired peace officer. The one thing I couldn’t obtain, though, was permission to carry on an airplane. We tried to get the federal license to do that, but for some reason the Transportation Safety Administration frowned on people carrying guns on airplanes. They had all sorts of rules about that! I would need to put my weapon in my checked luggage.Another time-consuming item was the preparation of the harbor and dock facilities, along with renovations and repairs to the fleet. Put more accurately, it was time for spring cleaning on the dock and the boat. In theory that was an all-hands-on-deck operation. The reality involved the kids goofing off with Boxie while Kelly kept them under control. I washed the dock and boat, got the bumpers.
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