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I always feel safe with you down the hall." Thanks. I just hope there aren't any ghosts around to ruin our night." Did I just detect a hint of sarcasm?" she asked skeptically."Maybe. I'll be half asleep tonight listening for any strange noises. That's what you want isn't it?"She flashed me a stern, yet playful expression. "You do that. Goodnight." Night mom."***The clock read 1:30 am. A loud banging noise downstairs woke me up. The footsteps coming from my mother's room let me know that she had woken up as well. I got out of bed to see that my mother had turned the lights on."Did you hear that?" my mother asked in a low whisper, with a jilted look on her face."Yeah, what was it?" I don't know. But I've heard it before. It usually happens around this time, in the same way. I'm scared. Are you?" Kind of," I replied without shame. "Let's go check it out I guess."We went down the stairs together as my mother turned on more lights. A few minutes later, she turned on all the lights and I. I couldn't tell my mother that or even if I could have I could have never explained it satisfactorily to her. And the one thing I could never, ever tell her is that it was her fault. I could just imagine her face if I were to say:"It is all your fault mom. If you hadn't run with such a bunch of whorish sluts I wouldn't be the way I am and I would probably be married and you would have grand kids."No, I couldn't tell her that so I settled for, "I've just never found the right woman." Well Rob, you are still young and there is still time. You will find the right one eventually" and she got up, kissed my cheek and went off to bed. I finished my drink and then I headed on home to my apartment.I was in my bed staring up at the ceiling and for some weird reason my mind went to work on what it would have gone like if I had given mom an honest answer to her question."The reason I'm not married mom is because most of your girlfriends were round heeled tramps." And just how did that keep you.
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