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"Wow. So two weekends and a full week," I looked stricken. So the 'away' time was stretching out. Pretty soon it would be a two week trip to ... I don't know, Cambodia or Venezuela or somesuch. I really was stricken. Any thoughts I had about trying to put the marriage back together were flying out the window."Okay. I guess if you gotta, you gotta," I tried to look up at her. The tears in my eyes were real."Just wanted to tell you. There's a note in the kitchen saying the same thing," she said. "Love ya." It was the last words I heard from her for a long time. Well, except for some "oh yeah baby"s that weren't directed at me.I visited Houston on Saturday morning, the same way I'd done it before. This time I didn't take Bear; I left him with mom for the day. She asked if I'd worked things out with Cynthia and I said that whole thing had gotten shelved when I started having these panic attacks. Another lie, this time to mom. I hated this.I had a roll-on suitcase and my laptop. When I got. I had a sudden urge to build or buy a house where I could take people. I felt like I needed to talk to the distributor’s money man first. I didn’t want to do anything on a Sunday, but I kept the thought in mind. I was pretty sure that I could sell the idea to Lucy by suggesting that Paris would need some playmates in a couple of years.I decided to do it and keep the whole thing a secret, until I had it all arranged. I didn’t do much of anything on Sunday except plan in my head. I was still pretty much traumatized by the events from the night before to be honest. I don’t mean I was in shock. I knew that things like that went on, I just had never been part of anything like it. Trina was definitely more kinky, than I had imagined. That was her problem, or her hobby. Either way I planned to ignore it.Monday morning I began thinking again about the money piling up. Well, before Christmas I had the Distributor start making electronic deposits in an off shore account for me. His money man.
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