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Now again, the dutiful wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother, I pray and light candles in church. I’m back to before puberty.In between, adultery’s my sin. Looking back, I wonder why. It makes no sense now. My libido, stronger than most, is not adultery’s blame. I was sexually satisfied during faithful marriage bouts. When it occurred, however, I couldn’t stop myself. It took time to accept, I was a serial cheater. I lied to and betrayed those loved, including myself. I console myself none were hurt because none knew. There were many times, however, my husband suspected despite my spy’s cover. His unconfirmed suspicions bedevil him and separate us. I did hurt him.For a long time, I thought I loved two men and hated one. Re-writing my diary, I realize I hated no one and there’s only one I loved and only one who loved me, my husband. Edward never loved me. With age’s perspective, I accept I was his Asian fetish doll, replaced by another.The clothes, jewelry, perfume; his. " So?" she said."I only got it for the night, I knew the kid I was talking to and I said I had a girl I needed some 'alone time' with." So he thinks you got a call girl?" she said with that wonderful giggle."Yup!"She sang, "Call me—Don't be afraid, you can call me, maybe it's late you can call me... "I joined, "Tell me and I'll be around!" What room have we got?" she asked."Room 144," I answered."Isn't that a coincidence?" she remarked."Isn't what a coincidence?" I said."That was our room number in Visalia, don't you remember?" she said."Yeah, I do—I was just messing with you."I opened it up and it was pretty nice, much nicer than that hole in Visalia we'd stayed at. I locked the car and I locked the room."I need the bathroom Jerry?" she asked."Sure thing," I said, kicking off my shoes and pulling off my socks. My feet were happy now. I was unbuckling my belt as I heard Joanie say, "Turn out the light please Jerry?"I got my pants off, laying them carefully to keep their crease. I took.
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