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Vacationers here for the summer fill the little shop this morning. She opens her paper and the counter woman sets down her coffee and her check. She smiles at the woman and tries to be friendly. Helen usually works in the morning and always has a pleasant greeting. She misses seeing the familiar face. The shop must have put on some summer help to cope with the crowds of vacationers. She glances up to see a man looking her way. Not just looking but openly staring. She smiles and nods and then returns to her paper. When she’s finished her coffee she leaves money for a paper, coffee and tip on the table with the check and continues on her way. Her first stop is the mongers shop. Fresh fish lay gleaming on a bed of crushed ice. She chooses from among them a shiny one with the smell of the sea still clinging to its lifeless fins. She can bake this one and eat it for the next 3 days . She looks forward to not having to heat the stove more than she must. The next stop is a flower shop. I was hoping to...nevermind. Just know that I am truly sorry for taking advantage of the situation without even....trying to...”“Understand me? Know me?”He nodded, “Yes, that's it.”I stood up, “Now you never will.”I walked out slowly. I wanted him to watch me. It was petty, but I wanted to think that he would regret his lost chance. I walked out, not feeling triumphant, but sad. I got him to notice me, but now I wouldn't get more looks from him. A lot of what if's went through my mind; a relationship, bondage, letting myself be me, to spend nights in someone else's bondage, not my own.I was confusing myself. Angry with him, wanting him to fuck off. Enjoying the voice of command. Hating his assumptions of me and what I want. The boots, his boots. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Wanting to be noticed by him. Wanting him to leave me alone. Desiring his full attention to me. I was numb with confusion.I walked out into the sunlight, turned right. I walked towards the center of.
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