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The Pilot and the Priest:A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom." Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?" Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. "When you. ”“Well I really don’t want to say so I hope that doesn’t offend you.”All of a sudden he starts rubbing my arm as he leans in closer. I tried to get distance from him but I couldn’t because the space was so small. He whispered into my ear, “Come on baby. Give me a chance. I’m sure I’d surprise you.”I looked at him in shock and immediately pushed him away. He hit the side of the elevator and looked back at me in disbelief. “Listen creep! I didn’t come to LA to meet any sniveling, slime balls like you. I came to do a modeling shoot and that’s it. Just back off before I have to say something to someone.”He looked shocked. I think he was surprised that someone as delicate and tiny as I would do something so bold. I have to say though. His advances did kind of turn me on. It was kind of dangerous, me being in a tiny elevator with a stranger. Who knew what could happen. I always wondered what it would be like to have sex in such a public place. If the guy wasn’t such a jerk maybe I would.
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