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I rubbed it between my hands, letting it thaw so that the smell of the nutrients could slip free. I stared at the dirt, moving it around to separate the minerals from the decaying matter, and then sprinkled it on the slain animal. Soon, I would die, just like this coyote, and I would return to the earth, just like everything else. For the first time in a long while, I actually smiled, knowing what I wanted. I wanted to be buried, but without a coffin, and certainly without being embalmed. I wanted to embrace my death, not hide from it in a pine box while noxious chemicals keep me from rotting. I wanted to feel the soil on my face, to be enveloped by the earth, and maybe have a tree planted over my grave. At least then, the worms and the plants would get more use out of my body than I ever did.I wiped my hands off on the coyote’s fur and then stood up. It was time to go home.I stepped through the front door of my home and was instantly bombarded by hugs and greetings from my. ....stay with me tonight so that I might at least get to know what heaven feels like." It was the most disgusting and cheesy thing I have ever said but she is worth depraved actionsI think the alcohol is doing its duty because she seems to be considering it. She was looking down at the table for a while and finally looked up. "What do you mean stay with you?" She knew damn well what I meant, I guess she wanted me to specify before she conceded or denied my request.In an innocent voice as not to sound too eager I said "I just want you by my side tonight, I need you in my arms like we are in love. We use to sleep together all the time remember?" It was true that in the past we sometimes slept in the same bed but I didn't mention that those times it was because we were too drunk to care or fuck."Just sleeping? With clothes on?" She asked with brows up skeptical."Clothes, no clothes.....does it matter?" I said trying hard not to smile."Scott.....I don't think my husband would.
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