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“It’s a problem,” I said. “We’ll have to work with you to get the habit under control. I know Blaine prefers to use vectored thrust to push the entire ship left or right while maintaining course. Terrence seems to prefer to perform barrel rolls.”“They make sense to me,” Terrence said. “And the sleep trainer made it clear that the artificial gravity in the ship would prevent us from feeling the effects of inverting the ship for long periods.”“What?” Michael asked.“The ship isn’t heavy enough to generate natural gravity. We can stand on the deck because of some energy projection system the aliens provide. It means that no matter what position the ship is in, we always feel that the deck is down,” I said. “So if we flip Corsica upside down, we won’t notice.”“Makes barrel rolls much safer to perform,” Terrence said.“They can mess up my aim,” Ensign White said. “But they aren’t hard to recover from. But we’ll have to test that in a real ship.”“Which we’ll have in three days according to. Her name was Pam. She was an inverted Butterface, so instead of having a hot body and ugly face, Pam had a hot face and ugly body. When I asked my buddy Axe if there was a name for that, his response was: “Fat.” Fair enough. Pam was on her way out as I punched in my plagiarized cell phone name. A half hour later I began texting her: Sex God: “Where’d you go?” Pam: “WTF!!! Who is this!!!” Sex God: “This is the Sex God, duh. Your lame friends just dragged you out of here. We’re gonna need to hang out asap.” Pam: “HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I’m at the Blue Beat!!! Come over!!!!!!” Sex God: “Cool. After I finish my beer.” I turned in an 0-fer at Woody’s, so I strolled over to Blue Beat sometime after 1 a.m., drunk and horny. I found Pam making movements on the dance floor in a swashbuckling mess, limbs flailing everywhere. I made the mistake of letting her see me while she was dancing, and she stomped over and plucked me like a Jurassic predator. While grinding on me, she planted.
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